Growing up as a teenager, I remember hearing the word "rebellion". There were also references to it throughout
your selection of movies and T.V. shows. Usually the show would have a teenager arguing with parents and/or making a decision that altered their life greatly. By the end the teenager had a "revelation" and realized the error of their ways and made things right. Why is it assumed that this will innevitably happen? Is there a better way? I remember the struggle but I also had a greater pull to obey than to disobey. I knew that my parents trusted I would make the right decision. Knowing this helped me make right decisions in tough times because I did not want to disappoint them. Now, I didn't always make the right choice, and I did fight with my "crazy" emotions. But I do remember repenting when I was wrong or hurt someone. Yesterday, I watched the movie "Inside Out" with my kids and thought it was a great and funny way to show what really goes on in our heads! If you haven't seen the movie yet, I suggest you go! You will not regret it. I cannot put a spoiler out; my daughter would reprimand me for it, but I do want to tell you what I believe we as parents have fallen for - a lie that when our children become teenagers or go through puberty, they will rebel, say naughty words, not want to talk to us anymore, yell, and slam doors. This never became apparent to me until I had a conversation with my daughter while we were driving home. She said, "Mom, teenagers don't tell their parents everything." WHAT!...and where is this coming from?! That's when I realized the "crap" that is being planted as seeds into our kids' hearts and in ours as well. You see the very fibers of FAMILY is openess, honesty, trust, and unconditional love. These all help create who we are. They help our children grow to understand who they are, what their place is in the world, and what they were created for. When the devil can come in and destroy the family unit, he now has a louder voice and a platform to take our children down a road in which they will be searching to fill this void. I know the Holy Spirit spoke to me that day and through me. I responded to her and said, " This might be the norm to some but in our house, I know you will make good choices. I know that you and I will be able to talk openly and honestly. This is how God created families to operate. He wants us to be close. Remember when things are wanting to hide there is a reason - so it's always best to talk about them, and then you know a lie does not have "breeding ground".
I told her how much I loved her and that I expected and knew she would always try to do her best with the principles she was raised with! It was awesome to see her countenance and how it had changed. That's when I realized that I (as her mother) took care of that lie and didn't fall for it either. Now, have we had our emotional or tough days....of course. But this is a part of growing up and learning who you are and how you "tick". It's not about perfection....it's about relationship and walking with humbleness. My children listen to the way I talk about them. I'm a firm believer in speaking the positive! It's not that I am in denial of reality, but that my faith is in God - knowing that at the end of the day He is in control - is GREAT. If I see my kids having an issue, I speak the opposite into their life, and in a way that they hear it, too! So that they see...Mom does believe that they can overcome and knows that they will! If you have a child who deals with anger, let them know that you understand the struggle, but then tell them how strong they are with your and God's help to choose the opposite and not let the anger take control. It doesn't need to be as drastic as anger it could just be that they may forget things and not be very organized. Speak to them as if they are organized...even though it is frustrating at times, this will give them the strength to change those habits. Give them tools that will support success. Sympathize with them. Most importantly, listen to them. Sometimes it is just the fact that we listen which gives them the confidence to overcome their struggle.